I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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