call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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