their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
