You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
