i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found puke in my bra..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
