I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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