I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we're making bets on your personal life
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
