The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
