I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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