she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
