so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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