i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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