i just google imaged poop.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
