What a fucking waste of an outfit
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
