What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
