Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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