sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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