If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I will pee on everything he values.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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