Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
