Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
