it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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