This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
