Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
