You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Acid is not a monday night drug
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
