I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
