I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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