My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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