the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
