I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
