dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
