well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
