Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
