I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
