Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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