Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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