I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
