There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
