I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
