my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
