i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
my poor anus
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
