Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
