I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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