i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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