Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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