I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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