this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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