haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The uberlube is also flammable
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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