My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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