I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
