If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
