wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
