you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dignity is for republicans.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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