I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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