Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I did not marry a roomba.
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